What do you do, when one of your best friends in the world is in a bad relationship...and they know it but don't do anything about it? They already know they aren't getting what they could out of their relationship, but they're too scared to end it? Do you muscle your way in and try to sabotage the relationship, 'for the best'? Or do you stand well-away and pray they wake up one day and break the spell they're under?
My best-male friend is in this situation. He has been with his girlfriend for a year and a half, and it's both of their first really serious relationship. She treats him like a dog most of the time. Refusing to 'meet in the middle'. He has to take the time off work to spend time with her. He has to make arrangements for what they do. And now she's telling him he's not allowed to see or speak to me ever again-she wants me out of his life. Okay, she feels threatened by me, but she has no reason to. Until last weekend I hadn't seen him for almost 2 years, we just speak on the net and text messages. I was in his town for the rodeo so he decided to come and say hello...and I can tell you, I don't have feelings for him. He is totally open with her so he told her he met up with me. She went ballistic and said the above. When I told one of my friends about this, she was amazed, because it turns out his girlfriend revealed she thinks she has feelings for someone else.
She has no right to forbid him from seeing me, because she's one of those people who use flirting with other boys to get her boyfriend jealous. She has done it through their entire relationship, and past ones too.
So...I'm not sure what to do. I am not going to get involved, he knows my opinion, and I think her having feelings for another guy....who turns out to be his best mate, might be the last straw. I just hope he gets out before he gets hurt anymore.
French Tennis open
3 hours ago
3 comments:
That's a tough spot to be in, Gecko. I have a friend who's been in a poor relationship since I've known her...25 years! Her spouse has been having an affair with one of their former customers (not a customer anymore, things are free to her!)
The wife stays because she says she's worked too long and too hard to give up what they've built and she refuses to hand it over to the other woman. So I stand by, let her cry on my shoulder and watch her live a life of misery.
Sounds like your friend isn't married, which is a good thing at this point. Perhaps before long he'll figure it out, but I'd not get in his face over it or it could backfire. I think being a supportive friend and letting him figure it out and make his own choices is all you can do.
Thanks for your advice tracey, it's what I'm going to have to do. I was talking to him briefly today, and he thinks they've sorted it out. We can't control our friends feelings I guess, even if it's for the best!
Been there. Nothing you can do but be a good friend. You can offer an opinion here and there, and state your concern, but often love is blind and pushing an opinion to the point of upsetting a friend is rarely the best option. He will sort it out, it's just part of living.
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